GEEKSPLOIT ( Geek + sploit’ ) : Where geeks come to die…

He will fucking murder you.

I managed enough time on Friday to catch a couple of flicks and I gotta say, I regret taking my little brothers and sister to the first one.

Observe and Report

Observe and Report, a Seth Rogen Joint, was not what I expected it to be. Hilarious and over the top? Sure, like any other R-rated comedy I feel comfortable taking my impressionable siblings to. But there is something dark brewing under the surface of this movie. An extreme mean streak that’s sure to divide the people who watch it. This is the definition of a black comedy. There is almost no joy to be had in this movie – only a spiral of depression, misery and seriously fucked up shit.

Ronnie, Seth Rogen’s mall cop, is no Paul Blart. Ronnie is a bipolar wreck of a human being. He is rude, mean, and more than a touch psychotic. Ronnie is Travis Bickle-lite. He is exactly the person you do not want to know, let alone hang out with, unlike any other character Rogen has ever played. He is just uncomfortable to watch, and at times a bit nerve wracking.

And yet, by the end (and what an ending it is – I implore you to try to not blurt out a shocked, awkward laugh) of it all, I was thoroughly satisfied. I laughed, which is all I ask from a comedy, but I was also given something entirely unsuspected as well. I have to give the movie props for having the balls (pun intended) to not hold back at all.

Monster Bash!

Monsters Vs. Aliens

The second movie we went to was definitely more kid appropriate. We also agreed it was a lot worse. I love 3D movies, but only when they’re unobstructive like Bolt and Coraline. Here, it’s in your face ALL THE FUCKING TIME. It gets annoying and nauseating after awhile.

What of the movie itself? It redefines ‘ho-hum kiddy fare’ (The previous definition read ‘Charlotte’s Web AKA The Movie Before the Dakota Fanning Rape Movie’). I figured the premise was fool proof – monsters fighting aliens in glorious 3D done B-movie style. It kept the B-movie pedigree, but it under delivered everywhere else. Beside the aforementioned over-use of 3D, the story itself is weak and the characters aren’t exactly memorable. Reese Witherspoon’s Suzie is the central focus, but Suzie isn’t exactly compelling. The monsters fare better, but beside’s Rogen’s BOB none were compelling.

But hey, there are worse ways to waste a family outing. There’s always the Hannah Montana movie (which had a line up an hour before the first showing and the brats screamed when they were allowed in) or the Dakota Fanning Rape Movie. If anything, it’s completely harmless.

I recommend you take the children to Observe and Report, and have them learn a real life lesson – stay on your bipolar meds.