True Blood is back and it’s awesome…in its own way

June 17, 2009

true-bloodI’ll be the first to admit that I kind of despised True Blood when it first aired. I gave the series three episodes to hook me, but it just kept pissing me off more and more. The story was weak and the characters were pathetically one dimensional. I was a huge fan of Six Feet Under, Alan Ball’s previous show. I’m of the opinion the final episode of SFU is one of the greatest pieces of television ever produced, especially the final ten minutes. It gives a new meaning to “finale.”

This is why I was so disappointed in True Blood at first. Was this just another John From Cincinnati? Where an awesome show creator comes off a creative high and just bombs? With John you had David Milch coming off of the incredible Deadwood to create the most mind numbingly awful shows in recent memory. Could True be Ball’s John? It sure looked like it.

But last summer when there was absolutely nothing else to watch, I loaded up the serie’s first season and decided I needed something to laugh at. And laugh I did. Many things about the show are laughable, from the writing to the acting, to the general production values. Then a realization struck me – I wasn’t laughing at the show anymore, I was laughing with it.

This is a show whose cast and crew don’t take seriously themselves, despite the plot being deadly serious. It’s like intentional B-rated television with a AAA production budget. There’s something oddly heroic, albeit a bit stupid, about that. As long as you don’t take any of the characters or situations seriously, there’s a lot of fun to be had here. Lots of nudity, bucket loads of gore and a good deal guilty pleasure likability.

Not high brow in the least, but damn fun to watch.

So, what about the season premier? Well, think of it less than an explosive premier and more a direct continuation of last season’s final episode. There are no shocking revelations to be had here, just the characters going about their business. Sookie is still stupid, idiotic Sookie and Bill is still hilariously deadpan Bill. Nothing new there, except for that vampire Bill had to change. She’s annoying as hell, but hot nonetheless. Jason is still enthralled by the anti-vampire cult, but who honestly doesn’t see him sleeping with the preacher’s wife?

The only “big” events were Lafayette’s capture (the reveal of his captor is awesome and makes sense) and more information on Sam’s relationship with vibrator woman. Apparently she statutorily raped his ass. Not necessarily a bad thing seeing that she’s a fine piece of tail.

Hmm, it really doesn’t sound like a glowing review does it? But that’s the point. There’s nothing glowing about the show. It is what it is, and it makes no apologies for it. The writing isn’t any snappier than it was and the acting is definitely still an inch or two about ludicrous. But that’s its charm. If you liked the first season, you’ll like this premier. If you hated the show (and I know a lot of people do) then this is just more of the same. No attempts were made to transcend itself. If anything they went the extra mile to stay the same.

UPDATE:

According to Variety the show had the highest rating since Sopranos for HBO so obviously the show grew a larger following due to DVD sales. With 3.7 million viewers, it was 1.7 million more than last season’s finale and has positioned itself as the highest rated show for the network.


New Green Lantern movie news

June 15, 2009
Hey indeed Mr. Jordan.

Hey indeed Mr. Jordan.

Sci Fi Wire had a quick interview with Marc Guggenheim, one of the writers of the proposed Green Lantern flick, which stars the proposed Bradley Cooper of getting pissed drunk fame. The accumulated tidbits on the movie?

  • Guggenheim handed in a new draft of the script today.
  • The Martin Campbell movie is starting production this summer for a June 17, 2011 release. Hopefully this is some kind of typo because I don’t think I movie with a script and production date needs over 2 years to be made, unless it’s that awesome. Too bad no movie is that awesome. NOTE: A quick fact check revealed this is true and I’ve just been under a rock the last week. Apprently this is to get a summer release rather than a winter one, which is a positive sign of confidence but it doesn’t help knowing the movie could’ve been done six months earlier.
  • “The goal here is to do the best cinematic representation of the Green Lantern character. You know, there’s no desire on anyone’s part to completely change the character and just call this other character Green Lantern and try to … draft off the name recognition. This is all about ‘How do we bring the best version of this character to the silver screen?’”
  • He’s apparently cherry picking from the history of Green Lantern to create the story. Movie Hal will be mainly based on Silver age Hal. I don’t know why Guggenheim just doesn’t bring Geoff Johns very recent Secret Origins run to life, seeing that it was pretty awesome and is the definitive canonical origin story.
  • Is Chris Pine or Bradley Cooper gonna be Hal? Guggenheim says the rumours are “all false.” Except he immediately reveals that it’s all under negotiation, which is exactly what the rumours were. So did he just confirm it through a denial?

Well, not very many new things but at least we have a near finished script from writers who are respecting the material. I can’t wait until the script leaks online so I can see what they’re trying to accomplish.

I don’t think many people in the mainstream give Green Lantern the attention it deserves seeing that every hero worth his/her salt already has a movie. Green Lantern is bar none the best continuing comic series (GL Corps moreso than GL at the moment) currently published. It’s entertaining, affecting and at times brutall violent. And it’s bigger than Star Trek and Star Wars combined in epic scope.


Wanted 2 has Angie back?

June 14, 2009

I guess she already kind of looks like a zombie.

I guess she already kind of looks like a zombie.

Timur Bekmabetov talked to Russian news site RIA Novosti and announced that not only is a sequel to Wanted planned, but that “in the late autumn or winter shooting will be performed. The shooting will take place in America, India and Russia.”

Well that’s super because I actually very much enjoyed the original Wanted a great fucking deal more than I did it’s piece of shit comic counterpart. Suck it up comic fans, Mark Millar’s story was nothing but nhilistic exploitation. It’s hard to care for a story that glorifies rape. The movie had really well done action, bothered to have a dark sense of humour and a hero that’s actually likable. Sure, the Loom of Fate was, ahem, less than inspiring, but it worked if you didn’t think about it too much.

But the real head scratcher of the interview is that Angelina Jolie will indeed be back for the sequel. Apparently he and the writers found a way to bring her back. What, as a ghost or a zombie? A flashback sequence perhaps? But if they somehow tell me she survived a bullet flying around a room and blowing her brains out, then fuck that. Fuck that thoroughly.

And God forbid we’re introduced to Jolie’s identically hot twin sister.


Neil Marshall directing Predators! Maybe?

June 12, 2009
2/3 good movies still equals a good track record!

2/3 good movies still equals a good track record!

It seems that Rodriguez himself has more or less distanced himself from the directors chair for the upcoming Predators. Instead, he’s content with writer and producer credits, as well as financing the picture. So, sad news aside, who’s the front runner?

It’s Neil fucking Marshall! BD reports that talks are heating up to get the British director signed. Marshall’s proven that he’s a great R-rated director, though his last movie – Doomsday – was a steaming pile of shit. Still, Dog Soldiers and Descent were really great (especially the latter) and shows he’s adept at directing dark, claustrophobic gore-fests.

Which is exactly what Predators needs to be. Dark, intense and intimate. I want to be scared like I was when I was five and watching the original Predator for the first time. Man, my child mind thought there were invisible crab faced monsters everywhere for a good month after watching that.

Of course, this can still firmly be placed the in rumour section as Marshall hasn’t officially signed on yet. Plus, it’ll be a personal milestone of his because it’ll be the first movie he directs that doesn’t start with a ‘D’!


Just caught the first 10 minutes of Paris Hiltons BFF show…

June 11, 2009
We are all dumber for this

We are all dumber for this

…and I’m more retarded for it. The human race is more retarded for it. How this show exists and why people watch it boggles my mind. I’m also to believe this is the second season of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF which only depresses me even more.

Is it because Paris is hot? Because she’s one ugly person, both physically and mentally. I mean I get more turned on looking at fungus growing on a tree than I do Paris Hilton. Is it because she lives a glamorous lifestyle? Because all I see is a drug and alcohol filled stupor and venereal disease.

I get celebutantes and our fascination for them. Here are famous people that most others have nothing better to do than live vicariously through. Hell, I do that with George Clooney all the time. But I think there needs to be a differentiation between someone who is interesting, smart and glamorous and someone who is, well, Paris fucking Hilton. Kristen Stewart, despite her constantly greased up appearance and stoner eyes, at least worked her way to her position through quality acting and dedication. Hell, even Lindsey Lohan had to work for what she eventually pissed away. Paris Hilton was born with a silver spoon up her vagina and has a penchant for videotaped sex. She is a drunk, skanky, addict and really has very few redeeming qualities as a human being.

And yet millions of people watch her show weekly, and not just for ironic purposes (like I attempted and failed at doing) but because they legitimately adore Paris Hilton! Because they strive to be her! Because Paris Hilton is a role model. No wonder there are so many bitchy 16 year olds wanting Super Sweet 16s.

I really don’t blame the people. People are easily manipulated into wanting anything. Hell, I swerved on a street after seeing a billboard for Bud Light Lime so I can get to the Beer Store, and it sucked. But honestly, is there some kind of subliminal message being distributed around all the gossip rags and TMZs and Perez Hiltons forcing people to pay attention to Paris fucking Hilton? Because unlike a Bud Light Lime, Paris Hilton is an affront to human kind and all things decent.

As for the show – what..the..fuck? Paris Hilton picks friends on a reality show? There are actually people willing to humiliate themselves to be Paris Hilton’s fake best friend for a year? And I mean really want it? Because from what I can tell there isn’t a cash incentive for the lunacy, just a real desire to be close to their idol. It’s like watching an emotional snuff film.

I firmly believe this show has put humanity, and especially women, back a good century of advancement.


Conan is funny, so he won’t succeed…

June 11, 2009
Welcome to the Cone-Zone

Welcome to the Cone-Zone

…relative to his predecessors. I anticipate him to do as well, if not better, than Letterman but The Tonight Show is an institution of television. Wind or rain on the TV landsape, you always knew The Tonight Show would always be there as a tender, loving constant. As such, its consistently garnered the highest ratings of the late night landscape.

I just don’t think Conan can live up to that.

I adore Conan O’Brien. He’s to me what Johnny Carson is to the older generation – extremely likable, hilarious and best of all he’s familiar. His schtick hasn’t changed in over a decade, keeping up the self-deprecation and mixing in the absurd. Where else do you get a masturbating bear or a celebration of Fall Foliage day with Mr. T? Hell, where else will you get this much Mr. T at all? And what of Abe Vigoda? What’s to become of him now in the wild of Central Park?

But now he’s moved to 11:35 and Los Angeles, where being smart, abstract and generally intellectual won’t fly in a town where its stars don’t want to look like fools amongst their peers. Sure, they can let loose when they’re all the way on the east coast, but many stars don’t want any of that at home. They want to go on a talk show, talk about themselves and get a brief spike in exposure. That’s it. That’s why they love Leno so much – Leno does nothing but pucker up for every celebrity’s ass.

In this sense, Conan is closer to Letterman where he uses his head to guide interviews and keeps things interesting by recognizing the absurd and capitalizing on it. He isn’t as cold as Letterman seems sometimes, but it’s still very much in the same vein and it can get alienating. Great for the audience, not so much for celebrities not interested in mockery.

So, new show, new time, new location…how is it going to work out? I’m afraid it won’t be well. I want him to be a smash success, but what’s usually the case with critical and intellectual applause is that it simply doesn’t take with the mainstream.

Even NBC eventually realized this, giving Leno a primetime show fearing Conan’s Tonight will pull in far fewer viewers than Leno’s. They knew they couldn’t afford to lose Big Red to a competing network, but they knew he simply doesn’t have the mass market appeal to live up to past Tonight alumni.

UPDATE – The week and a half review.

He’s been handling the show pretty well so far. He isn’t as off the wall as he was on Late Night, but he didn’t exactly conform to mediocrity, either. I miss the string dance and being more intimate with the camera, though. So far the guests have been more or less outstanding, with Conan bringing on the tried and true like Will Ferrel and Tom Hanks. He has a particular repartee with these people, usually ending with them demeaning him, that is really nie to watch.

Reminds you of his time in New York.

Of course, changes were made and the biggest one is that beautiful set. I mean, holy shit that’s a goregous stage. I really love the art deco motif (God did I really just sound that douchy?) and it’s just so much bigger than his old set. But could it be too big? Shots of the audience are rare outside of the occasional cut to poor old Andy, banished to the far nether regions of the stage. It just hasn’t felt like there’s much of a connection with the rather large audience with them being so far away. Late Night made it a point to have the audience be a part of the show rather then just being the obligatory viewers.

Also, the antics have been curbed to a noticeable degree. Besides a really welcome In the Year 3000 update to a beloved skit, it’s mainly just been talking about how different LA was to New York and footage of Conan locally, doing Conan-ish things.

In all, it’s Conan-lite: A softer, less wild version that’s easier to consume. Still, it’s 79 times more watchable than Leno.


Quick Hangover review

June 9, 2009

With the ever awesome half priced Tuesday at my local cineplex, I finally got off my lazy ass and plant it in another, far more comfortable seat to watch The Hangover. For $5, it was one of the few occasions I didn’t feel somewhat robbed at the movies.

Funniest fucking movie of the last millennium. Minus 999.5 years.

The Good:

  • Zach Galifa-whatever. This guy is a motherfucking star. He plays the emotionally challenged awkward brother in law to be with an earnestness that makes you believe he fully means it when he asks whether or not they were in the “real” Caesar’s Palace.
  • Ed Helms. Pretty much everything his character does is comic gold, from trying to explain his girlfriend cheated on him with a bartender and not a sailor or janitor to him freaking out about riding around in a cop car.
  • Bradley Cooper. I understand now. I understand.
  • Actually being funny. It’s not often that an R-rated comedy earns its stripe. Nearly every joke in this movie worked, especially the little Asian man. You’ll have to see it to understand.
  • The ending credits. Possibly one of the best credits sequence I’ve ever seen.

The Bad:

  • Mike Tyson was pretty much worthless.
  • The ending resolution of what happened to the groom never had a chance of living up to the build up.
  • Ed Helms bitchy girlfriend really deserved some kind of physical abuse. I don’t condone violence against women, just this one.

Bradley Cooper in talks to be the Face?

June 8, 2009
Clooney: "Who ARE you?!"

Clooney: "Who ARE you?!"

Man, who the fuck is Bradley Cooper?

Almost out of nowhere he’s been in talks to play Hal Jordan, stars in a breakout comedy hit that defied everyone’s expectations and now he’s in the running to be the lead in an A-Team remake directed by Joe Carnahan?

I have to say, whoever the hell Bradley Cooper’s agent is, that man is like Jerry Maguire. Or, y’know, Bradley Cooper has some talent. I have to say, besides Anton Yelchin, this seems to be the quickest inexplicable rise to super stardom that has happened recently.

He’s in talks to play Lt. Templeton “Faceman” Peck in the upcoming mega budget A-Team remake that I still think is a bad idea. Sure, it’s nostalgic as hell but it isn’t exactly a hot property like Star Trek. I really can’t fathom this being anymore than a minor cult hit when it comes out. Plus, I have a sneaking suspician that they’ll do away with all the ludicrous quirks that made the original series so endearing.

And you have to get Mr. T to play B.A. Recast as you see fit, but stick with T. The guy looks exactly like he did back then, if not better, and he could use the work. You can only live off of WOW commercials and Conan guest appearances for so long.


Starbuck entering Bauer’s Power Hour

June 8, 2009
Sexy or damned sexy?

Sexy or damned sexy?

When I heard the breaking news that Sackhoff joined the new season of 24, I really wasn’t that excited. I mean, aside from Bauer noone else is really given anything super kickass to do. Just look at poor Jeanne Garofalo this past season – her character was given none of the biting wit that she’s famous for. In fact, she was about as emotive as a rock on the side of the street.

So, not really expecting too much from Sackhoff but it’s nice whenever anyone from Battlestar gets continuing work. First Lee gets to be on the British Law and Order, then Helo gets a big role in Dollhouse and now Starbuck gets to become Dana Walsh, a highly skilled system analyst with, wait for it now…a sketchy past! She’s also going to be involved with Freddie Prince Jr’s character. In all likely hood she’ll be a marginalized character with a frivolous side story to fill in the minutes between Jack Bauer fucking someone up.

Oh, by the way, Freddie Prince Jr has a role, too. But who gives a shit about that?


Before they were famous

June 7, 2009

Over at Perez Hilton (yeah, I read it, wanna fight about it?) there’s a fun little feature with a bunch of photos of stars before they made it. I found it fun playing with a few friends, hand covering the area with the name, guessing who each star was. I’m glad to say I won by a landslide…Which for some reason doesn’t exactly fill me with unearthly pride, either.

So, who do you think this is? Click the picture for the full gallery.

Who?

Let's just say that she sure is "ugly"


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