Wii is kicking ass! I’m ambivalent.

June 12, 2009
Wii Wins! Weally? Weally!

Wii Wins! Weally? Weally!

It seems the Wii is doing pretty well.  I guess. I think Nintendo’s going to make it, fellas. And here I thought it was at death’s door!

Sarcasm ends….now.

MCV reports that after 31 months on sale in the US, the Wii’s 20 million units sold set the all time record for fastest selling console this side of the pond. It begs the question why 31 months is used as the measuring stick. Why not an even 36 months? What’s wrong with 33 months? Why was the 30 month mark skipped over? Anyways, it’s still an impressive milestone. “The continued enthusiastic consumer response to our products shows that Nintendo has something for everyone,” says Cammie Dunaway, Nintendo of America’s executive vice president of sales and marketing.

I guess I’ll give Nintendo some kudos for reaching that mark. God forbid I’ll never own a Wii until someone gives me one, but I guess there are a lot of really satisfied soccer moms getting fit out there.

Now that Microsoft and Sony have better gimmicky and superfluous motion peripherals, I have no reason to ever consider the Wii. Ever.

But congrats Nintendo – keep doin’ work.

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Posted by Sang

Tomonobu Itagaki, still a jackass

June 8, 2009
Even Jersey Shore D-Bags hate this guy

Even Jersey Shore D-Bags hate this guy

You’d think that after the whole shindig with Team Ninja and Tecmo, leaving Itagaki to start up a small independent studio, there wouldn’t be anymore crazy comments from the man.

Nope.

In an interview with 1up from last week that I didn’t bother reading until earlier today, when asked about his impressions on the awesome looking Bayonetta (which I thought looked more impressive from a combat standpoint than even God of War III) Itagaki proclaimed, “If I made a similar game as a game I made in the company I quit, people would say, ‘What an idiot, can’t he make anything else?’ Well, that is more or less the opinion I have for, uh, that Bayo-something game.”

Yes, like you’ve been the big innovator. Arbitrary breast physics don’t count.

And guess what? Itagaki never even bothered to play or see the game at E3. It’s this sense of insular self-righteousness that has lead this once great developer down a path of shoddy and questionable game design (Beach Volleyball, anybody?) and bouts of sexual harrassment and generally being a an ignorant (judging before ever playing) windbag.

Guess what Itagaki, I doubt you’ll be making a game anywhere near Bayonetta’s level for awhile to come.

Jackass. And stop wearing sunglasses indoors. Only two kinds of people do that – mega douchebags and pedophiles. I’m not gonna say which one I think you are, if not both. Only one man has ever pulled off the look, and that’s Jack Nicholson. Itagaki is not Jack Nicholson.

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Posted by Sang

BOYCOTT Left 4 Dead 2! Says these people…

June 6, 2009

Seems there’s some offended individuals angry at Valve for wanting to make money by releasing a sequel to the very enjoyable Left 4 Dead. Instead of being ecstatic, they all banded together to create what will ultimately be a worthless endeavour – a group calling for a L4D2 boycott! There’s already almost 12,000 whiners! It’s like watching a smaller, fatter, more pathetic version of the civil rights movement, only without any of its significance and none of its hygiene.

Also…

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Posted by Sang

Nintendo conference is GO!

June 2, 2009

And I won’t be here to watch it. Life beckons and watching Reggie brag about how awesome Nintendo is isn’t exactly high on list of priorities. I have a prediction of how the Nintendo press conference will go:

  • Reggie and/or that stupid lady from last year brags.
  • Bullshit game reveal that’s not as good as they think.
  • Pie charts and graphs detailing why they deserve to brag.
  • Bullshit casual game.
  • More bragging.
  • Embarassing demonstration of bullshit casual games.
  • More bragging.
  • Miyamoto introducing his newest inspiration – mowing grass!
  • Bragging.
  • Maybe an okay looking Conduit trailer and gameplay.
  • Bullshit casual game.
  • Reggie dances.
  • Everyone leaves unsatisfied.

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Posted by Sang

E3: Microsoft press conference impressions

June 2, 2009

Man, I feel like I’m really late for the party but I didn’t actually have the time today to watch it until just awhile ago. Like every press conference, it was full of self-congratulatory rhetoric, but it’s a necessary evil to get to the real meat – the shocking or kickass game announcments. So, how did Microsoft handle being first up at bat? Did they hit a homerun, or did they strike out? Sink the three or threw up a brick? In other words, did they do well enough to make me stop using horrendous sports metaphors?

Well, yes, I guess.  Let’s break it down further.

Hmm...green.

Hmm...it's a'ight.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by Sang

Sony’s Trico?

May 19, 2009

Fumito Ueda’s Ico and Shadow of the Colossus are, in my opinion, some of the best games to ever be released on a Sony platform. Hell, it was Ico, not FFX or MGS2 that was the first PS2 game I ever bought. So, it’s been a long time coming for the third game, called Trico by most of the internet. Hell, it’s the single game I’m holding out for before getting a PS3.

And lo’ and behold, an internal video get’s leaked online that looks suspiciously like it could be it. It could very well be fake (though it would be the greatest internet hoax ever) or just early footage that has nothing to do with the final game, but hopefully Sony get’s fucking smart and show it come E3. It would definitely win the show for them. At least for me.

As is, it’s freaking beautiful and I want it sooo bad.

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Posted by Sang

Crytek reveals what system CryEngine 3 looks better on

May 17, 2009

Fanboys love flamewars. Love them. So when a company like Crytek comes out with a kickass graphics engine many of these retards will be thinking “what system handles it better?” The short answer is it’ll be about the same.

As can be expected, this is quite a paradox for a fanboy’s brain to handle. If something is equal, how can you disparage the “other” side? How can the SDF blow their wads when the Xbots have the same ammunition?

In an interview with Edge magazine, Crytek’s director of technology Mark Atkinson reveals that the 360 version and the PS3 version runs “at the same speed.” But there has to be some kind of difference, right? The fanboys can’t be left in a limbo without flaming, can they? Atkinson goes a bit more in depth about each systems architecture, saying “if the game’s shader-heavy it runs a bit faster on 360; if it’s compute-heavy with physics and particles, then the SPUs take over and it’s a bit quicker on PS3.”

So, it’ll essentially look the same to the human eyes who don’t have two HDTV’s running two versions of a game on both systems side by side, gamers who choose to do so can resort to theoretical spreadsheet data to stroke their console egos.

With the graphical difference between the PS3 and 360 already proven negligible by countless games looking beautiful on both platforms, it’s with Excel spreadsheets that fanboys will not have to resort to. Oh noes, the PS3 has 44 more pixels rendered per explosion, or oh rlly, the 360 has two more textures in this quadrant of the screen.

Fucking retards.

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Posted by Sang

New Lunar screens

May 16, 2009
I get all old man whenever I talk about Lunar

I get all old man whenever I talk about Lunar

Apparently the PSP is getting its own version of Lunar Silver Star Story, of which the Playstation version was my all time favourite game for any platform. Despite horrible graphics and severely outdated gameplay, I just couldn’t help but love the charm the game exuded. It, and its sequel Eternal Blue, were also one of the few games that I bothered to hang onto just for nostalgia’s sake. I’ll probably never play the games ever again, but those hunkin $100 collector editions will forever be in my gaming collection.

Famitsu’s website posted images of the updated PSP game and I have to admit it looks damn good. Let’s just hope they don’t fuck up the story or music, both of which are integral. In case you’re allergic to Japanese, the images are also below. It lacks the charm of the original, what with its fancy schmancy new technology, but it looks to be a good entry for those who haven’t played the Lunar games yet. I’d also prefer a sequel instead of a fourth remake, but whatever.

Did I mention the Lunar games are fucking awesome?

Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by Sang

Beyond Good and Evil 2 footage?

May 8, 2009
My most anticipated game ever

My most anticipated game ever

Kotaku put up a video found on a no name French website that has a woman dressed an awful lot like Jade in the BG&E2 teaser here.

I’ll say it right now – this footage looks incredible. Now, the only thing debatable is if the footage is in fact from the game at all. It did come out of nowhere and Ubisoft hasn’t commented on it yet. If it is from the game, then hot damn we have a potential game of the year candidate. If it isn’t? Then some fans have a lot of time and talent on their hands and Ubisoft should hire these guys if they’re interested.

Please let this be true.

Please let this be true.

Please.

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Posted by Sang

The new Microsoft Xii?

May 1, 2009

xbox-sensorbar-001What’s great about not wasting time watching what is most likely a subpar movie is that I suddenly have some time to write an epic blog post! Okay, that’s a lie. A dirty, disgusting, shave your hair off kind of lie.

Anyways…Engadget just leaked a potentially major story. Apparently Microsoft is seeking to reinvent the way we plays games and blah, blah, blah. You’ve heard the same line from each console company ad nausea over the decades. So, what’s Microsoft’s super-duper-cooper-pooper plan? A sensor bar! From the future! Now!

Apparently it’s like the Wii sensor bar, only you are the Wiimote! Huh. I highly doubt this news leak is anywhere close to accurate as to what that little white bar actually is. If it is right, then again I say – huh. I play games on my 360, with my controller, on my TV. This is the 360′s purpose to me. It’s fulfilled that obligation faithfully, with only one casualty over the last 3 and a half years. The Wii already has the casual market on its stomach, a big fat Miyamoto cock up its ass. I doubt this full body motion controller is going to be making very much headway into that forum.

Get over it Microsoft. You aimed the 360 as a hardcore gaming brand. To associate it with the geek/nerd/dweeb/drunken-frat-douchebag demographic. You’ve more than succeeded, but in doing so you gave up any chance of mainstream inroads.

Pimp Miyamoto does not let his bitches go easy.

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Posted by Sang

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